We all hear stories of deviance when it comes to the fetish world and there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, it is what it is. I believe we all have some type of deviance in us, it’s a matter of how minute or how large the desire may be. This is what separates us from the, ahem, ‘vanilla’ world. Sadly, even today, society still frowns upon some of the things it considers alternative.

But, why is it that BDSM is primarily about deviance? Could I be wrong? I honestly don’t even consider myself deviant (Well, some of my thoughts border on it, but, whose doesn’t?). Ok, maybe having some deviant things done to me, but, does that make me deviant?

Anyway…. My journey was never about deviance, more so, it was about exploration. Finding out about myself through the halls of BDSM. Coming from a history where ‘my peoples’ were forced into slavery, it seemed weird that my thoughts leaned towards being enslaved. But, knowing that my first ‘adventure’ fucked my head up because the young lady who tied me up, did so, because, she figured, ‘i’d look cute tied up.’ That episode transformed my life and gave me a different way of looking at some Women.

But, for me, specifically on this journey, it’s more about growth. Learning, even at this age, about myself. I would never say I know everything. At times, I would even say, I don’t know anything. But, I do know that I’ve grown in ways that I didn’t anticipate when I started this journey. Not because I didn’t think I needed to learn or even grow, just going with whatever instinct I have. I will admit, I’ve done some things wrong, some things I read incorrectly. It just prepared me for whatever may happen in the future. Even if it’s nothing.

So, BDSM has been about my personal growth. Not just in the scene, but, in general. I can apply some of the new lessons I’ve learned, to life in general. I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing ever since I discovered my fetish. But, seeing things differently in my pursuit of being better suited, has been challenging, yet, rewarding.